


Behind the Mask (There’s Just a Girl)

by flipflop_diva, Shmaylor



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Humor, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Darcy, F/F, Female Friendship, Natasha Feels, Natasha Needs a Hug, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Cover Art, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-10 15:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4398101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmaylor/pseuds/Shmaylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If someone had told Darcy Lewis she was going to have to spend an entire week babysitting an assassin, she would have laughed in their face at the sheer unbelievableness of it. But the thing was, that wasn’t even close to being the most unbelievable thing about the week. (Set post-Age of Ultron)</p><p>[Podfic + Text]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind the Mask (There’s Just a Girl)

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: I just wanted to thank the mods for hosting this amazing fest. It's one of my favorites! And a huge thank you to Shmaylor for being an incredibly awesome partner. We had so much fun brainstorming and plotting and putting it together, and I'm a little sad it's over. Also, another thank you to dapatty for making us the awesome art.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys!

****

**Author:** [flipflop_diva](http://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva)

**Reader:** [Shmaylor ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmaylor)

**Cover Art:** [dapatty](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty)

**Length:** 46 mins

**Downloads:** [mp3](http://shmaylor.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Behind%20the%20Mask%20\(There%27s%20Just%20a%20Girl\)%20mp3.mp3) | [m4b](http://shmaylor.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Behind%20the%20Mask%20\(There%27s%20Just%20a%20Girl\)%20m4b.m4b)

 

This was the life. Or it could be. If it was a little warmer and the sun was actually shining and a cabana boy was bringing her new drinks every twenty minutes. Then it would be perfect.

But this was close.

Darcy stretched her arms and legs out on the lounge chair she had set up in the middle of her and Jane’s apartment. With her head tilted _just so_ to the right and the slim rays of daylight reflecting off the huge gigantic sunglasses she had bought off a street vendor the other day, she could almost pretend she was lying on the shore of some tropical beach and that the noise of the cars outside was really the waves pounding against the powdery white sand.

“Darcy?”

Darcy frowned. That didn’t sound like the cabana boy she had asked for.

“What the heck are you doing?”

Ohhhh. It was Jane.

Darcy sighed and lowered her sunglasses. “What does it look like I’m doing?” she said dramatically.

“I honestly have no idea.”

“Trying to enjoy my vacation. Please leave.” Darcy gestured her out, but Jane just held out her phone.

“There’s a call for you.”

“I’m on vacation.”

“It’s Maria Hill.”

Darcy frowned. “For me? What? Why? Did Thor disappear again? Because I did _not_ have anything to do with it.”

“She says she has a job for you.”

“I have a job.” Darcy frowned. “Wait, I do, don’t I?”

“Of course you have a job. But I don’t think Maria is offering a full-time job.”

“Oh. Well. I’m on vacation. Tell her no.”

“She said something about a Starkpad and a new phone prototype …”

“Now I’m listening.”

“… And a week in Hawaii, all expenses paid.”

“Give me the phone.”

•••

“Wait, wait, wait, _wait_.” Darcy stared at Maria in abject horror. “You did _not_ just say that.”

Maria folded her hands over the small stack of papers on her desk and looked at Darcy, her calm expression never flickering. “It’s a simple request.”

“It’s not _simple_!” Was this woman insane? Darcy had a feeling she was insane. “You want me to _babysit an assassin_. You get she kills people just by looking at them, don’t you?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Maria said. “And you’re not _babysitting_ her.”

“It sounds like it to me.” Darcy raised her hands to make quote marks in the air. “You want me to, and I quote, ‘keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t go anywhere’ and something about keeping her from doing something stupid like killing fifty people or jumping headfirst into a volcano. Which, by the way, is exactly what I do when I watch the Morris twins who live across the street, except for the volcano thing, because we don’t have volcanoes, but there are a lot of cars and diving in front of cars can kill you too. But it’s okay that they don’t really understand that, because they are four!”

“First of all, I think you’re exaggerating just a bit. I said we think she’s depressed. I didn’t say we think she’s suicidal. Besides, if you do decide to visit a volcano, she’s much more likely to push you into it then dive in herself. And second, I’m quite sure the words I used were ‘we’d like you to keep her company.’”

“You told me to make sure a super stealthy ninja spy didn’t disappear! You said that!”

“No,” Maria said. “I said she has a habit of disappearing, but we’re hoping you can get her to _not_ do that.”

“It still sounds like babysitting to me,” Darcy muttered.

“It’s not. But you’re free to call it what you’d like. Conditions are the same. So is the payment. Trip to Hawaii — feel free to go crazy. SHIELD’s paying — Starkpad and Starkphone. If you do well, there might be some monetary compensation.”

“If I don’t lose her, you mean?”

Maria cracked a small smile. Darcy had thought she’d forgotten how to make that expression. “And if you keep her from killing anyone.”

Darcy almost shrieked. “Wait! _What?_ ”

“I’m kidding. She’s an assassin, not a psychopath.”

“I’m not so sure there’s a difference.”

“So do you want in?”

Darcy frowned. Free trip to Hawaii. Having to spend a week with Natasha Romanoff with no other Avengers around to protect her. Free trip to Hawaii.

She had a feeling she might regret this.

“I’m in.”

“Great.” Maria jotted something down before looking back up at Darcy. “Word of advice?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t call her a psychopath to her face. Or call it babysitting. I doubt she’d take that well.”

“What do you mean by not well?”

“You know that volcano you’re worried about?” Darcy nodded. “You’d be wishing you were jumping into it.”

•••

Yeah, Darcy was already beginning to wish she had agreed to go volcano diving instead. And she hadn’t even left Maria’s office at the base. Which she was also beginning to regret. Maria had told her to stay, but really, she should have argued about it. Or maybe faked an emergency illness. Taken a fake phone call. _Anything_.

Because this? This was hell. Which was really saying something, because Darcy had been witness to some awkward conversations before in her life. Like that time she accidentally heard Jane and Thor discussing sex? Yeah, that was one conversation she wanted to bash her head against a wall until she forgot. But this trumped that by miles for most painful thing she had ever experienced.

She really, really, really didn’t know why she had to be here, and she was really, really, really wishing Ultron, or aliens, or Hydra, or any villain really, would swoop down and attack so she wouldn’t have to listen to this anymore.

To say Natasha was not pleased was an understatement. For someone who was known for keeping her emotions hidden, she was practically radiating fury. Darcy thought the only thing stopping her from killing Maria was … well, actually, Darcy wasn’t sure what the only thing stopping her from killing Maria was, because she was giving off the distinct impression that she really really wanted to.

“No,” Natasha said again, for about the five hundredth time. Darcy had stopped counting somewhere after ninety-two. Her arms were crossed and she was glaring — _glaring_ — at Maria, who was wearing that same totally calm, not-at-all-bothered expression that she was wearing when she had talked with Darcy earlier. Darcy assumed it was that expression that had gotten her the job as SHIELD’s second-in-command. It did seem to be quite effective.

Maria picked up her glass of water from her desk and took a sip, just gazing at Natasha the whole time. Natasha’s jaw was clenched so hard Darcy was almost surprised she hadn’t broken a tooth. “This isn’t up for debate, Agent Romanoff. You take a week off, or you’re off the team until you do.”

“No,” Natasha practically hissed. “We are in the middle of _training_. Steve needs me …”

“Steve needs you,” Maria interrupted, “to be able to do your job. Do you honestly think he hasn’t told us about how distracted you are, how withdrawn you are? He’s the one who suggested this. He’s worried about you.”

Natasha’s mouth actually dropped open slightly. Darcy made a mental note to remember that it was possible to shock the Black Widow. She wouldn’t have thought so.

“ _Steve_ suggested I … that I .. Steve wants me to take a week off?”

Maria nodded. “We all think it would be a good idea.”

“But …”

“There is no ‘but.’ I am in charge of this base. Steve is first in charge of the team. You are not. You do what we ask or you can leave.” Her face softened a little as Natasha continued to just stare at her in disbelief. Darcy could understand why. For a super scary ninja assassin spy, Natasha suddenly looked like a little girl who just had her puppy taken away. It almost made Darcy want to hug her. Or kiss her. Maybe both.

“Natasha,” Maria continued. Darcy noted it was the only time she’d called her by her actual name since this whole painful meeting began. “We’re asking you to go on vacation. We’re not locking you in a dungeon. You’ll be okay. Have you ever even taken a vacation in your life?”

Natasha just blinked at her.

“Exactly,” Maria said.

“What?” Darcy said before she could help it. “You haven’t? Seriously?”

Both Maria’s and Natasha’s eyes were on her in a second. Darcy felt her face turn red. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “Continue on.”

“See?” Maria said to Natasha. “Now that’s a normal reaction.”

“But I …” Natasha stopped whatever she was about to say (Darcy had a strange feeling it was “But I don’t know how”) and closed her mouth. Maria obviously had the same strange feeling Darcy did, because she actually smiled.

“That’s why Darcy is going with you. Besides, vacations are more fun with friends.”

“We aren’t friends,” Natasha said.

Darcy frowned. Did she have to sound so rude about it? It’s not like this trip was going to be a picnic for her either. _She_ was the one who had to deal with Natasha.

“Well, then,” Maria said. “You can become friends. Think of it as another project.”

“Fine. What do I have to do?”

For a second, something flickered across Maria’s face. Darcy almost thought she looked like she wanted to laugh. “Go on vacation, Natasha. With Darcy. Which means you stay with her and you do what she tells you to do. No disappearing. Absolutely no killing. Seven days. And then you can come back. Understand?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Good. And Natasha?”

“Yes?”

“Try and have fun. You do deserve it.”

•••

Okay, so it wasn’t exactly Stark’s private jet or SHIELD’s luxury air accommodations — why exactly they hadn’t gotten a private plane ride on SHIELD’s dime, Darcy was going to have to ask, but maybe when Maria decided Natasha needed a vacation, she was including harrowing experiences at the airport as part of that fun — but it wasn’t like first class was a huge bummer. There was food and alcohol. Lots of alcohol. And seats that Darcy could stretch out in without bumping her knees or accidentally whacking the person next to her. Although right now she wasn’t opposed to whacking the person next to her, because from the way the person next to her was scowling, you’d think they were chained in the cargo hold with guns to their head.

“Okay, seriously,” Darcy finally said to Natasha after she finished her third mimosa of the morning. “You have _got_ to chill out. I’ve seen you at parties. I know you’re not socially incompetent. Fake it if you have to, but stop _glaring_ at everyone. People are supposed to be happy to be going to Hawaii.”

“I’m not,” Natasha said without looking at her.

“Clearly,” Darcy said. “But you know Maria made me promise to report in every day, don’t you? I mean, of course you know that. You know everything. So I’m guessing she’s not going to be super happy if I tell her all you did was grouch around all day.”

This time Natasha turned to stare at her. “ _You_ have to report in on _me_? _You_?” She said it like that fact was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard.

It was Darcy’s turn to scowl. “Don’t say it like that. You’re the one who’s in trouble here, not me.”

“I am _not_ in trouble.”

“Really? Cuz the way I see it, you want to be training the new Avengers and they aren’t letting you. That’s basically like SHIELD’s version of being grounded.”

Natasha looked away from Darcy and crossed her arms. Darcy rolled her eyes.

“Yeah,” she said. “You look so much happier now. I’m sure they’ll be so pleased with your progress.”

•••

Hawaii was everything Darcy had ever hoped it would be. Warm and beautiful and perfect. The ocean off their hotel room balcony was bluer than any water she had ever seen, the sand a dusty white. She looked down at the hordes of people lying on the sand and playing in the water and decided even a grumpy assassin was not going to get in her way of having a good time.

She turned around and headed back into their room and stopped in front of Natasha, who was perched on one of the beds doing something on her phone. Probably hacking into SHIELD secrets to see how they were possibly surviving without her, Darcy figured.

“Come on,” Darcy said to her. “Go put on a swimsuit. Let’s go down to the beach. We can lay by the water and sip some piña coladas.”

Natasha looked up. “I prefer not to.”

Darcy shrugged. “Well, too bad for you, it’s not your decision. Pretty sure Maria told you to do what I say.”

“She didn’t mean literally.”

Darcy raised a brow. “Should I call and ask her?”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. Darcy watched as she sucked in a breath, probably trying to keep herself from committing murder. Darcy wondered just how many weapons she’d managed to get through security. Probably a hundred.

“Fine,” she said. She sounded like she was gritting her teeth.

“Great!” Darcy said, purposely sounding incredibly over-enthusiastic. Natasha rolled her eyes in response — slowly and very purposely exaggerated — and Darcy actually laughed.

“So you do have a sense of humor,” Darcy said.

Natasha stood up. “Of course I do,” she said. “I just don’t …” She stopped instantly, like maybe she had said too much.

“It’s okay,” Darcy told her. “I know you don’t want to be here. But we’ll have fun, okay? And then you can go back and kick all the bad guys’ asses.”

That almost got a smile. “Yeah,” she said. “Sure.”

•••

Natasha surprised her. Which really shouldn’t have surprised her, if she had thought about it, because Natasha’s whole gig was keeping people off guard. Master of manipulation and all that. She’d probably pretended to be a thousand people in her life, so pretending to be a happy tourist was never going to be a stretch.

Except Darcy had a thought that maybe she wasn’t actually pretending. At first, she was. Definitely. She had sauntered out of the bathroom in a skimpy bikini so revealing Darcy almost had to pick her jaw up off the floor, and Darcy couldn’t help but notice the extra wiggle she put into her hips as they walked down the beach. She had definitely not been walking like that at the airport.

They had gone to the bar after dinner, and every eye in the place was on Natasha and she knew it. She sucked on the pineapples in her drink a little too long and laughed a little too loud.

Darcy would have been annoyed, except she was in Hawaii and she’d much rather be hanging out with someone pretending to be enjoying herself than someone who clearly would rather be elsewhere.

And pretending or not, Natasha was fun to talk to when she wasn’t glaring at people on airplanes. She asked a lot of questions about Darcy’s life (and neatly deflected any questions of her own the two times Darcy summoned the courage to ask her something more personal than if she’d ever been to Hawaii before) and talked about the places she had been on SHIELD-supported missions.

By the end of the second day, when they were walking barefoot along the shore side-by-side, Natasha almost seemed comfortable. Like actually comfortable. And when Darcy accidentally stumbled into her and knocked her into an oncoming wave, both of them almost falling on top of each other, Natasha looked over at her, her hair wind-whipped and sand covering her hands, and smiled at Darcy in such a way that Darcy could have sworn it was her actual real smile. It warmed Darcy’s heart in a way it really shouldn’t have, and she told Natasha she’d race her back just so she could have something else to concentrate on.

By the fourth day, Darcy had a feeling she was in trouble. Not like Natasha murdering her in her sleep trouble, but in a you-should-probably-never-get-this-close-to-an-assassin type of trouble. Because it felt almost like they were friends. They tanned on the beach and read books and traded random observations about the other people out there with them. They drank Mai Tais and margaritas and laughed at Darcy’s stories about Jane and Thor and at Natasha’s stories of the other Avengers.

They sat on their balcony at night and looked at the stars, and they curled up together in bed until they both fell asleep watching movies.

It was what Darcy would do with a friend (or maybe someone she wanted to be more than a friend), but this wasn’t a potential friend. This was Natasha freaking Romanoff and this was not supposed to have happened.

•••

It all changed the fifth night. Natasha had fallen asleep first, which was odd in itself because she usually didn’t sleep until long after Darcy did (Darcy actually asked her the second night if she slept at all or if she was secretly a robot, and she had just laughed). Darcy, however, couldn’t sleep. She just kept staring at the woman next to her, wondering how someone so deadly could look so innocent. Natasha’s hands were curled under her cheek and her hair had fallen into her face, but Darcy thought she was the most beautiful creature Darcy had ever seen in her life.

So there she was, just watching Natasha sleep, when it happened. Natasha’s peaceful expression vanished in an instant, her face wrinkling in what looked like pain and terror. And then she let out a cry. Not loud, but so anguished Darcy felt her blood run cold.

Before Darcy could decide whether it was a good idea to try to wake her, she let out a moan, and then her arms wrapped around herself as she started to tremble.

Darcy looked around in a panic, her mind frozen. Should she wake her up? Natasha could probably kill her if she startled her. But what if she didn’t wake her up? That seemed cruel because whatever was happening was obviously traumatic.

Natasha moaned again in her sleep, and Darcy made her decision. She picked up her own pillow, leaped out of bed and then tossed it, hard, at Natasha’s head.

The pillow, of course, did not make it that far. Natasha knocked it out of the air with so much force, it shook the dresser when it impacted with it, and Natasha was awake, tensed and ready to fight before it landed. Darcy watched the pillow hit the floor and was never more glad in her life that she didn’t wake someone up. She really wouldn’t have wanted to explain that head injury to people.

She turned back to Natasha in time to see her blink, and then see recognition dawn as she realized where she was.

They stared at each other from across the room, Natasha still visibly tense while Darcy’s heart thudded against her chest in relief.

“You were having a nightmare,” Darcy finally said. “I didn’t know how to wake you.” She paused. “Are you okay?”

She expected Natasha to brush off her question, to deflect it as always. She did not expect her to drop her head into her hands.

Darcy didn’t even think. She knew what to do in these situations. She scrambled across the bed toward Natasha, draping an arm around her. It wasn’t until Natasha looked up at her with a half-accusatory, half-surprised expression that Darcy even realized what in the hell she’d just done. Or rather to who. Natasha was definitely not Jane freaking out about Thor not visiting often enough.

But too late to turn back. She might as well jump in.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she started, deciding if she ignored the awkwardness of the situation, it would just go away. She was leaning in so close, she could see the gold flecks in Natasha’s green eyes. She could also see a tiny, tiny hint of tears starting to form and Darcy felt her heart break. For the first time, it didn’t matter that Natasha was stronger and scarier and way more deadly than Darcy could ever be. All Darcy wanted was to hold her and keep her safe from whatever was hurting her. Ironic, Darcy thought, as she lifted a hand to Natasha’s cheek and made sure she didn’t look away.

“Tell me what happened in your dream, Natasha. Tell me who was hurting you.”

She thought back to her conversation with Maria, bits and pieces suddenly falling into place. Maria said Natasha was withdrawn. Depressed. Had been for some time. Maybe since an evil robot had tried to take over the world? Maria had mentioned he’d kidnapped her (but unshockingly, Natasha had kept all details to herself).

Natasha didn’t say anything. She didn’t move, or shrug Darcy’s arm off, but she also didn’t appear like she was ready to be talking anytime soon.

Darcy decided to push her luck. “Look,” she said, trying to keep her voice soft. “I know you have this weird stoic thing going on where you think it makes you look all cool and badass if you pretend like you don’t have pesky emotions like normal people, but I saw you spill a margarita down your bikini top yesterday and I know you have a TMZ app on your phone that you secretly like to read when you pretend you aren’t, and you also kicked me in your sleep last night and I have the bruise to prove it, so I think we’re past the part where I pretend to be in awe of the perfect, emotionless Black Widow who is all work and no play, so maybe you can just trust me enough to tell me why you look like you want to cry and I can promise I’m not going to say anything to anyone because — although I have a super big mouth and Jane tells me I talk way, _way_ too much — I really am a pretty fucking great friend and I’d like to be one to you too.”

Darcy paused, trying to catch her breath, but then she almost lost it again when, instead of answering, Natasha smiled — a real, _genuine_ smile that Darcy knew without a doubt was real and also one, she thought, that made her look absolutely beautiful. Darcy squeezed her arm a little tighter around Natasha — “Tell me,” she urged — and watched as Natasha found Darcy’s wrist and wrapped her own fingers around it.

Natasha still didn’t say anything at first. Her eyes shifted back and forth like she was searching for something and her fingers remained wrapped around Darcy’s wrist as the seconds ticked by and Darcy could hear her own heart pounding in her ears.

Finally, Natasha spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I can’t stop thinking about him. Every time I close my eyes …” She took a breath. “Even here, when we’re alone, I think I feel him. Behind me. Reaching for me …”

Darcy felt a shudder run down her spine. “Ultron?” she asked but she already knew the answer.

“I can’t get away from him. And I don’t know why.”

“What did he do to you? When he had you. You can tell me.”

Natasha shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me. I think you’d be amazed at the things I understand.”

Natasha’s fingers, still on Darcy’s wrist, tightened just a little, almost a bit too hard, but Darcy kept her wince of pain to herself. She had a suspicion one false movement would send Natasha retreating back into whatever dark corner she normally liked to keep her feelings. “It was like he was in my head,” she said. “Doing all the things he knows I hate most.” She stopped, making a little scoffing noise, like she was embarrassed she actually hated anything. “Things that reminded me of my past.”

Her fingers slipped off Darcy’s wrist and she looked away. Darcy watched her blink, slowly, and then she couldn’t help herself. It was like some weird alien instinct took over and made her throw all forms of self-preservation out the window because who in their right mind actually leans forward and runs their fingers through a scary ninja assassin’s hair, even if said scary ninja assassin looks a whole lot less scary and rather more like she’s going to cry?

But she did. She slid her fingers through Natasha’s curls — which felt just as silky as they looked and made Darcy want to file away a mental note to ask her what kind of amazing shampoo she used — and looked her directly in the eyes.

“You’re safe now,” she said quietly, which really was a stupid thing to say because if anyone was relying on Darcy to keep them safe, they were all probably in trouble, but Natasha’s tiny smile came back as Darcy added, “He can’t hurt you now.”

Later, Darcy would tell everyone who would listen that Natasha made the first move (to which Natasha would roll her eyes and say, in that tone of voice she had that leaves no room for argument, that no she did not), but in truth, Darcy had no idea who moved when. It was almost like the weird alien instinct from a few moments earlier took over again, but this time it started with her trying to be comforting one second and then the next second she had her lips pressed to Natasha’s and a few minutes after that hands were under clothes and tongues were in mouths and it was simultaneously both the strangest thing and the most exciting thing Darcy had ever done, and that was saying a lot.

The last thing Darcy remembered thinking was there was no way this trip could get any better.

•••

Well, fuck. Of course she had to have been right. The trip did not get better. It got worse. Fast.

By the time Darcy opened her eyes in the morning, the sunlight was practically pounding through the windows, letting her know it was definitely past breakfast time.

Natasha, who had been next to her when they fell asleep, was nowhere to be found.

Darcy sprang out of bed, panic already spreading through her. She flew into the bathroom but it was empty. She checked the outside deck but no Natasha there. She darted back inside, checking under beds and in the closet because, hey, Darcy knew from experience there were worse places to hide, but there was no sign of Natasha there either. There was also no sign of Natasha’s phone, so she had taken it with her.

Everything else, though, she had left. Her makeup was still in the bathroom, her clothes still in the closet, her shoes still in the middle of the floor.

Darcy sucked in a lungful of air and wrung her hands for a few seconds before forcing herself to sit down and stop pacing.

“Get a grip, Darcy,” she said out loud. “Maybe she just went for a walk.”

She tried not to remind herself that Natasha had actually done exactly what Maria had asked of her and not left Darcy’s side since they’d arrived. Instead she reminded herself that Natasha was not going to willingly walk away from being a SHIELD agent just because a few hours earlier she’d almost cried and then had sex with Darcy. (Very enjoyable sex, Darcy might add.) The idea was laughable.

Except the knot of panic in Darcy’s stomach refused to listen to that absolutely logical thought and go away. Instead it built itself up, growing bigger and bigger as the hours passed and Natasha didn’t reappear, until finally Darcy couldn’t take it any longer.

She grabbed her phone and dialed.

“Natasha? Heeeyyyy, yeah, it’s Darcy. Just wanted to see when you were coming back. I’ve got a piña colada with your name on it.”

“Hi. It’s Darcy again. I’m going down to the beach. Why don’t you just meet me there? I’ll grab us a nice spot.”

“Natasha? You are planning to come back, right? A simple yes or no would be great right about now. Heck, just a y would work, too. You can text me.”

“Okay, if you weren’t a super secret ninja assassin spy, I would be super worried and be beginning to think you were dead right about now, because friends don’t just abandon friends on vacation without a word. Actually, enemies don’t do that either. Because IT’S NOT COOL.”

“Seriously, Natasha, this is so far from cool right now. Like what the hell are you doing? I’m like five minutes away from calling Maria, but I don’t want to call Maria, because if I call Maria, they aren’t going to let you come back and you can say whatever you want but I know you like being an Avenger, and do you really want to give that up because of … Actually, I don’t even know what it would be because of BECAUSE YOU LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. Which, did I happen to mention, IS NOT COOL?”

“NATASHA, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? You better not have left this damn island! I will call Maria. I will. I am only here because of you, you know. This was _so_ not my first choice for my summer vacation. But here I am. HERE. WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE. WHERE YOU ARE NOT. GET BACK HERE!”

“Okay, if you are not dead, you are going to be the next time I see you BECAUSE I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.”

“That’s it! I can’t anymore! It was _your_ stupid super friends who wanted me to do this in the first place! I’m done! I am so done. I am calling Maria. Right now. I am calling …”

“Don’t.”

The voice came from behind her. Darcy almost jumped out of her skin. She whirled around. Natasha was standing in the middle of the room, dressed in a black tank top and black shorts. She at least had the decency to look a little sheepish.

Darcy opened her mouth, a day’s worth of panic and fear and confusion roaring up inside her, but instead of a diatribe, all that came out was a whispered, “You’re back.”

“Yeah,” Natasha said, and she shrugged slightly. “I’m back.”

Darcy didn’t move. Part of her wanted to rush at Natasha and tackle her in the world’s biggest hug. Another part of her wanted to smack her for abandoning her for more than twelve hours and making her panic and worry about things she didn’t want to be worried about. And another part of her wanted to scream, yell and then maybe cry.

Instead she forced herself to remain at least somewhat calm.

“Where the _fuck_ have you been?”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Darcy’s voice sounded cool and steely to her own ears. She was a little impressed with herself. Or she would have been, if she weren’t focused on giving Natasha the most evil glare she could manage. Super ninja spies had to fear something right? Besides being tortured by evil giant robots, that is.

“I needed to be alone.”

Darcy arched a brow. “You know what normal people do when they need to be alone? They say, ‘Hey, I need some alone time. I’m going to take a walk on the beach.’”

Natasha almost smirked. “I’m not normal.”

Darcy didn’t let her expression change, or her glare falter. Natasha’s smirk did, though. “I’m sorry,” she said again.

“You didn’t answer any of my calls.”

“I didn’t know what to say to you.”

“You could have tried, ‘Hey, I’m not dead. I’ll come back. I promise.’”

Natasha didn’t answer. She turned her head, seeming to suddenly find the wall incredibly interesting.

“I could stand here all day,” Darcy said, adding some bitterness to her tone. That wasn’t hard. The lying part was a little hard. She was starving. There was no way she could actually stand there all day.

Finally, Natasha turned her head back to face Darcy. Darcy had to almost dig her nails into her legs to stop herself from running to Natasha. Every part of her brain screamed at her that Natasha was just manipulating her, and maybe she was, but that _look_ on her face — it was the same look as the night before, the same wide eyes, the same almost lost expression, the same very faint hint of tears.

“Look,” Natasha said, and was Darcy imagining the slight quiver in her voice? She had to be, right? “I’m not good at this. I’ve tried with three people my whole entire life. The first person turned out to have a wife and kids. The second thinks of me as nothing more a teammate, if he even thinks of me at all. And the last person I liked, who I actually _told_ I liked, couldn’t get away from me fast enough, and he still hasn’t come back. I don’t really have the best track record with these sorts of things.”

“So you figured you’d just leave because that would solve all your problems?”

“No. No. Not that. I just … I needed to think.”

“And did you think?” Darcy wasn’t sure she really wanted to know the answer, but Natasha nodded. “And?” Darcy added when Natasha didn’t look like she was actually planning to share what she had thought about.

“I told you. I’m not really good with this.”

Darcy almost rolled her eyes. She was still angry — still _very_ angry — but the way Natasha was looking at her ...

“Look,” Darcy said. “We had sex. It happens. It doesn’t have to be life changing. We just enjoy the rest of our vacation, we go home and that’s it. It doesn’t have to be anything more.”

“What if I want it to be something more?”

Darcy blinked. “Do you?”

“I don’t know.”

Darcy almost laughed. “For a super scary competent spying ninja assassin, you really do have some serious issues, don’t you?”

Natasha didn’t answer. For a moment, Darcy was tempted to question her to make sure she knew she was kidding, but instead she just reached for her hand.

“Come on,” she said. “I’m super starving, and apparently the happy hour special tonight is Mai Tais. So let’s go get drunk and you can work out your issues over dinner.”

Natasha laughed, and Darcy was pleased to note Natasha didn’t remove her hand from Darcy’s grip the entire walk to the restaurant.

•••

Okay, so Darcy hadn’t really been serious when she mentioned getting drunk — well, no, she had imagined herself getting drunk, but she figured Natasha would observe her like she always did — but judging from the fact that the suddenly not-so-scary assassin leaning against her as they sat on the beach was giggling uncontrollably as she tried to poke at a little crab walking around near their hands, Natasha had taken her at her word.

Darcy, of course, was not actually drunk because somebody had to be the responsible party. (Darcy tried not to wonder how this had possibly happened. She was never the responsible one. Everyone knew that!) But the reason she couldn’t take her eyes off the woman sitting next to her had nothing to do with levels of intoxication.

Natasha looked beautiful this way — giggling, smiling. She seemed happier, more carefree, as though for a second she didn’t have to worry about being an Avenger and saving the world and making up for her past. She didn’t have to be scared of what Ultron had done to her or feel guilty for what she thought she had done to Bruce. (Nothing, Darcy was going to tell her someday. She had done nothing. Bruce had made his own damn stupid choice.) She didn’t have to be anything except herself.

Darcy still didn’t know exactly who Natasha was when she was just being herself. But she knew she liked her. She knew she wanted to be her friend. She knew she wanted to be more than her friend if Natasha let her.

And when Natasha turned her head to Darcy, her eyes shining in the moonlight as she leaned over and gave Darcy a quick peck on the lips, Darcy knew she was going to enjoy every second of whatever this was for as long as it lasted. She just hoped it lasted a really long time.


End file.
